Oct
20
2009
R.J. Reynolds Senior High School, Winston-Salem, NC 1982 Let’s get one thing out of the way: No good yearbook signature has ever begun with the phrase “Well Bitch”, let alone one where “Bitch” is capitalized and underlined.  The fact that the signer, Tom, then proceeds to passive-aggressively suggest that the book owner, Lisa, purchase hard drugs from him in order to give to her father for Father’s Day leads me to just one conclusion: This is the yearbook entry that inspired Tommy Wiseau to create The Room.  Perhaps the drugs were purchased from Chris R.?  All that’s missing is a “K.I.T.” message from Denny.

R.J. Reynolds Senior High School, Winston-Salem, NC 1982

Let’s get one thing out of the way: No good yearbook signature has ever begun with the phrase “Well Bitch”, let alone one where “Bitch” is capitalized and underlined.  The fact that the signer, Tom, then proceeds to passive-aggressively suggest that the book owner, Lisa, purchase hard drugs from him in order to give to her father for Father’s Day leads me to just one conclusion: This is the yearbook entry that inspired Tommy Wiseau to create The Room.  Perhaps the drugs were purchased from Chris R.?  All that’s missing is a “K.I.T.” message from Denny.

permalink - Click the image for a closer look

Tags: drugs

Tags: outright hostility

Tags: submission

Oct
19
2009
Seaford Harbor Elementary School, Seaford, NY, 1991  From the submitter: “My friend Tom loved to eat, and still does.  In particular he loved eating the mozzarella cheese cubes the cafeteria served on spaghetti day.  Tom would beg the lunch room ladies to let him go back for extras, it was a self serve bowl of cheese cubes.  Anyway, Tom just genuinely enjoyed eating lunch and obviously he hoped that the middle school would continue serving equivalently awesome lunches to the ones he had eaten in elementary school.” I just imagine the glassy-eyed Tom being handed a yearbook. Looking straight ahead, he hurriedly scrawls a message reflecting his fragile mental state, still shaken from the tearful goodbyes he exchanged with the lunch lady earlier that day.

Seaford Harbor Elementary School, Seaford, NY, 1991 

From the submitter: “My friend Tom loved to eat, and still does.  In particular he loved eating the mozzarella cheese cubes the cafeteria served on spaghetti day.  Tom would beg the lunch room ladies to let him go back for extras, it was a self serve bowl of cheese cubes.  Anyway, Tom just genuinely enjoyed eating lunch and obviously he hoped that the middle school would continue serving equivalently awesome lunches to the ones he had eaten in elementary school.”

I just imagine the glassy-eyed Tom being handed a yearbook. Looking straight ahead, he hurriedly scrawls a message reflecting his fragile mental state, still shaken from the tearful goodbyes he exchanged with the lunch lady earlier that day.

permalink - Click the image for a closer look

Tags: food

Tags: submission

Oct
15
2009
Francis Parker High School, San Diego, CA, 2009 Posted without comment. No actually, I’ll comment:  Why in god’s name would you ever write this in someone’s yearbook?!?!

Francis Parker High School, San Diego, CA, 2009

Posted without comment.

No actually, I’ll comment:  Why in god’s name would you ever write this in someone’s yearbook?!?!

permalink - Click the image for a closer look

Tags: playaz gotta play

Oct
09
2009
Longfellow Middle School, McLean, VA, 1994 Come on Viranda…Steady…You’ve only got five words to write…One of them’s your name…The other ones don’t have that many letters…You can do this…One down…There’s two…halfway there, there’s three…and fou-DAMMIT! Eh, whatever, nobody’s ever gonna look at this again anyways.

Longfellow Middle School, McLean, VA, 1994

Come on Viranda…Steady…You’ve only got five words to write…One of them’s your name…The other ones don’t have that many letters…You can do this…One down…There’s two…halfway there, there’s three…and fou-DAMMIT!

Eh, whatever, nobody’s ever gonna look at this again anyways.

permalink - Click the image for a closer look

Tags: misspellings

Oct
08
2009
The Madeira School, McLean, VA, 2001 It’s your basic, “girls become friends, girl takes other girl’s brother to prom, other girl flips out and writes lengthy, hostile yearbook entry to the other girl” story —with an interesting twist!  The signer, I’m told her name is Elizabeth, spends most of her time talking about how she has nothing to say to the friend who betrayed her, and how she is only writing to fill up space. So she scrawls a mixture of sarcastic and space-filling remarks: “you are bitching at me to write you a fucking novel”, “what to say, what to say…” “Yes I am laughing at you” and “I have finally almost made it to the end” before she gets to the end of the page and…doesn’t have enough room to finish her bitter rant!  A little tiny arrow directs you to the flipside, where presumably, she finished in shame, not once reflecting on the sweet sweet irony.

The Madeira School, McLean, VA, 2001

It’s your basic, “girls become friends, girl takes other girl’s brother to prom, other girl flips out and writes lengthy, hostile yearbook entry to the other girl” story —with an interesting twist!  The signer, I’m told her name is Elizabeth, spends most of her time talking about how she has nothing to say to the friend who betrayed her, and how she is only writing to fill up space. So she scrawls a mixture of sarcastic and space-filling remarks: “you are bitching at me to write you a fucking novel”, “what to say, what to say…” “Yes I am laughing at you” and “I have finally almost made it to the end” before she gets to the end of the page and…doesn’t have enough room to finish her bitter rant!  A little tiny arrow directs you to the flipside, where presumably, she finished in shame, not once reflecting on the sweet sweet irony.

permalink - Click the image for a closer look

Tags: catfight

Oct
05
2009
Longfellow Middle School, McLean, VA, 1995 I just imagine an adult looking at this yearbook at two different stages.  After Sarah signed, they might thing “Wow, I had 8th graders all wrong!  Despite their posturing and negative attitude towards education, other kids, and life in general, they can still be kind of sweet.”  And if they went back and read it again half an hour later, after “Die Bitch” guy had gotten a hold of it, they’d just  think “Nah…I was right.”

Longfellow Middle School, McLean, VA, 1995

I just imagine an adult looking at this yearbook at two different stages.  After Sarah signed, they might thing “Wow, I had 8th graders all wrong!  Despite their posturing and negative attitude towards education, other kids, and life in general, they can still be kind of sweet.”  And if they went back and read it again half an hour later, after “Die Bitch” guy had gotten a hold of it, they’d just  think “Nah…I was right.”

permalink - Click the image for a closer look

Tags: outright hostility

Oct
02
2009
Longfellow Middle School, McLean, VA, 1994 The guy who signed this, B______ (I have no idea)…Man, he must have really needed those blunts!  It was so important that him fucking you up is now the sad reality of the situation…unless you agree to his one demand. And that is that you bring him blunts when you come back to school…after summer break…three months later. Because he really needs them.

Longfellow Middle School, McLean, VA, 1994

The guy who signed this, B______ (I have no idea)…Man, he must have really needed those blunts!  It was so important that him fucking you up is now the sad reality of the situation…unless you agree to his one demand. And that is that you bring him blunts when you come back to school…after summer break…three months later.

Because he really needs them.

permalink - Click the image for a closer look

Tags: threats

Tags: drugs

Oct
01
2009
Palatine High School, Palatine IL, 2002 Hm…Not that awkward, you might be thinking. Slightly ignorant, yes. Double ‘lol’ usage, sure. But really not that bad. So why does this stand out? Because it was written in Joe’s yearbook (of “I hate you and you smell” fame.)  And poor Joe has no idea who the hell Kevin is.

Palatine High School, Palatine IL, 2002

Hm…Not that awkward, you might be thinking. Slightly ignorant, yes. Double ‘lol’ usage, sure. But really not that bad. So why does this stand out? Because it was written in Joe’s yearbook (of “I hate you and you smell” fame.)  And poor Joe has no idea who the hell Kevin is.

permalink - Click the image for a closer look

Tags: and you are...?

Sep
30
2009
Palatine High School, Palatine IL, 2002 The fact Dmitri still had fun sitting next to Joe second semester despite two major strikes against him: 1)hating him 2)the fact that Joe smells speaks wonders of the teacher of whatever class they sat together in. “Palatine High School: Making learning fun, even if you hate the kid next to you and he smells”

Palatine High School, Palatine IL, 2002

The fact Dmitri still had fun sitting next to Joe second semester despite two major strikes against him:

1)hating him

2)the fact that Joe smells

speaks wonders of the teacher of whatever class they sat together in. “Palatine High School: Making learning fun, even if you hate the kid next to you and he smells”

permalink - Click the image for a closer look

Tags: outright hostility

Sep
27
2009
Thomas Downey High School, Modesto, CA 1998 Another helpful rule of thumb:  If your yearbook signature mentions all the “bitches” that you “wanna fuck” the next year, the odds of you actually having sex with a girl are greatly stacked against you.  If your signature also includes the phrases “Thug Life” and a misspelled “RIP 2-Pac”, you may as well include “The Virgin” in between your first and last name.

Thomas Downey High School, Modesto, CA 1998

Another helpful rule of thumb:  If your yearbook signature mentions all the “bitches” that you “wanna fuck” the next year, the odds of you actually having sex with a girl are greatly stacked against you.  If your signature also includes the phrases “Thug Life” and a misspelled “RIP 2-Pac”, you may as well include “The Virgin” in between your first and last name.

permalink - Click the image for a closer look

Tags: playaz gotta play

Page 2 of 3